A year ago I was living in Norfolk with Mason going to college and lately I have been having all of these memories popping into my head of the time we had spent there. Tonight one of those memories really hit me hard. It was a Tuesday night and I had gotten out of my night class a little early, so I decided to run to Target and pick up some diapers before I picked up Mason from the babysitter. I was in such good spirits that night since I had gotten out of class early, and I was able to go to the store by myself without having to drag Mason in and out of the cold. Unfortunately my spirits had taken a 180 degree turn after I had checked out. I had spent $90 on just diapers and wipes alone and the child support I was receiving from Mason's father barely covered half of that. Mason's child support had recently been cut drastically so the issue was very fresh. I had moved to Norfolk expecting to receive more since Mason's living expenses had increased from moving to a city and an additional daycare expense that I have never had before. Instead his financial support was cut more than half. I was almost in tears by the time I had made it to the car. I pulled myself together and decided to grab Subway for supper since it was in the mall right next to Target. I walked in to get mine and Mason's usual 6" chicken bacon ranch sandwich on italian herbs and cheese bread. Mason and I split a 6" sandwich regularly, because that is what a poor single mother college student does if they want to splurge and go out to eat. When I walked up to the counter at Subway to order someone greeted me as if they knew me. When I looked up my heart dropped and I could barely get out a hello. It was one of the daycare workers from Mason's daycare. I had just seen her earlier that afternoon when I had picked Mason up from daycare. She was working a second job instead of being able to be at home spending time with her kids. That night I ended up walking to my car in tears for the second time. I realized how blessed and lucky I was to be able to support Mason and myself on my own while going to school to get an education with out having to work two jobs. I was so thankful that I had the amount of time I did to spend with Mason even if I did have night classes and he was gone every other weekend. That night really changed my perspective on things. Even though I was a 19 year old single mother, going to college full time, living 2.5 hours away from any family, and going through a custody battle, I realized I had it so great. This memory put me in tears again tonight. Mostly because I hope that Mason's daycare worker no longer is having to work a second job. I hope that she is able to spend more time with her family because that is what she deserves. She was always so sweet and always had a smile on her face. I am so thankful for her taking such great care of Mason while he was at daycare. I will always be thankful. I will never forget that night.
I just came across this article today on Facebook and it reminded me so much of myself, so I had to share it. At the end of the article I will share my thoughts on it. Why the Strongest Girls Are Insecure By Holly Riordan She has high standards. She won’t settle for boys that treat her disrespectfully. She won’t hold onto friendships that are toxic. She won’t let anyone that brings her down remain in her life. But she isn’t a hypocrite. She holds herself to those same standards. She expects herself to reach the stars, so she hates herself on the days when she sits in bed with a bag of chips and skips the gym. On the days when she doesn’t get enough done. Of course, no matter how much she accomplishes in life, no matter how much love she gives, she keeps pushing herself further. She wants to do more. To be more. Because she knows she’s capable of more. She’s insecure, because she believes in her potential and she knows that she hasn’t reached it...
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