Skip to main content

"I am Glad my Life isn't on Tape"

Teen Mom has been doing a special on the "original girls" where they go back and look at all over their footage over the years.  (Yes I am a fan of the show Teen Mom).  As I was watching a little bit of one of them, I thought, thank goodness my life was not taped.  It would have been nice to have all of those stages in Mason's life taped but there were so many painful times in the past few years that I don't want to remember or relive.  I have realized that I have honestly blocked so much of it out of my head because I don't want to remember it.  That is how I am living a happy life because I just block out the bad. I would be living in so much pain and resentment if I thought about all of it.

I am also glad that my life wasn't taped because I don't want everyone to see what I went through.  I would rather everyone think my life was easy.  I am the type of person that could be having the worst day but no one is going to know about it.  I am going to put a smile on my face and act like everything is fine.

I also don't want to have to look back on that naive girl I was.  I had no idea what I had gotten myself into and I had no idea I was going to go through it alone.  I was naive about my relationship with Mason's dad, but I almost was just to get myself through such a hard time.  He came to me and told me that there was a rumor going around about him sleeping with another girl from Ainsworth, and that it wasn't true.  I deep down knew it was true, but I just ignored it because I felt like I had to.  I felt like I had to do everything to try to keep us together for Mason.  What's worse than going to high school pregnant, is going to a high school where another girl slept with your baby daddy.  That is what you call embarrassing, but I shouldn't have been the one that was embarrassed.  I don't know how I had the courage but I still somehow went to school with my head held high every day.

I am such a different person today than I was three years ago.  But it is from those experiences that I have became the person I am today. I have grown so much and learned so much in such a short time.  I know in another three years I will say the same thing.  I will probably look back and say that I was still immature, which I am.  Yes, I am a mom but I am only 20 years old.  Yes, I have grown so much but I still have a 20 year olds brain.  That is why it is difficult to be a parent at a young age.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Thoughts On "Why the Strongest Girls Are Insecure"

I just came across this article today on Facebook and it reminded me so much of myself, so I had to share it.  At the end of the article I will share my thoughts on it. Why the Strongest Girls Are Insecure By Holly Riordan She has high standards. She won’t settle for boys that treat her disrespectfully. She won’t hold onto friendships that are toxic. She won’t let anyone that brings her down remain in her life.  But she isn’t a hypocrite. She holds herself to those same standards. She expects herself to reach the stars, so she hates herself on the days when she sits in bed with a bag of chips and skips the gym. On the days when she doesn’t get enough done. Of course, no matter how much she accomplishes in life, no matter how much love she gives, she keeps pushing herself further. She wants to do more. To be more. Because she knows she’s capable of more.  She’s insecure, because she believes in her potential and she knows that she hasn’t reached it...
Post a Comment
Read more

That Thing Called "Co-Parenting"

Co-parenting.....oh the joys!   This has been a hot topic on my Facebook newsfeed lately.  I think anyone that has to co-parent doesn't enjoy it.  It can be very difficult and a huge struggle.  Some people are great at it and I envy those people.  Some people wish they could parent alone instead of having to co-parent and I have been right there with you.  Over the past almost five years my co-parenting style has definitely evolved.  Right now it is somewhat non-existent and that is just the way I like it. I have decided that Mason's father can choose how much involvement he wants in Mason's life but I am not going to go out of my way to force it on him.  The door is always open to call Mason whenever he wants and to come to Mason's activities.  Even though that door is open.....he rarely uses it.  I inform him of the things that I am legally required to notify him about and he will text me randomly every once in awhile to see how Maso...
Post a Comment
Read more

It's Been Awhile

Hello readers.....I'm back! It has been awhile so I apologize for that. I have been super busy and I had kind of lost my "why" for the reasom I started this blog.  But thank you to an Instagram follower who asked me to keep blogging! (p.s. go follow me on my Instagram-kylieschwindt I love hearing from you guys)  The whole reason I started this blog was to prevent others from becoming a teen/young mom, to help others that are in my situation, and to give them someone to relate to. In a way this blog is sometimes difficult for me.  I like to be a super positive and happy person and lets face it,  there are a lot of things about being a single mom that aren't positive.  It can be a very difficult job but Mason is so worth it! I don't like to share the negative parts but that is kind of the point of this blog.  It is to show other girls that you don't want to be in my situation.  So that is why I kind of strayed away from blogging but I am back and will ...
Post a Comment
Read more